Son Of Failout......oooooh very very scary timmy!

At the same time as the House and Senate were, for the sake of bipartisanship and stimulusness compromising their collective souls to your______ (add religion) very own devil, Timmy "I'm still called Timmy" Geithner was very, very busy pulling the very largest heist in criminal history, by assembling all the policy and economic wonks he could afford to purchase (that were given time off from their day jobs at Wendy's Fine Burgers) in order to justify to the public and the world just WHY the same crappy bailout scheme that Hankie "Don't Fuckin Call Me That" Paulsen foisted upon us in a two page memo just last September, would conceivably work a second time around, even with a tad bit more "transparency". Of course Uncle Timmy had more than a dinky two page note (that presumably the dog ate on his way to school, so he wasn't prepared for the test) and should be excused ANYWAY since the case of explosive diarrhea that the stock markets had to his notions was just as predictable as Mr Brown, the fourth grade teacher who didn't buy that shit anyway and made him take the test with smelly pants. Even the French wouldn't sit next to him. The markets worldwide went into an absolute freefall clusterfuck. Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman, world renowned economist and pretty nice guy, wouldn't take his Twitter messages. Oprah put all her billions in bullion. Mickey Mouse, who's like 130 years old by now, and living in Palm Springs next door to OJ, called me to say, in his inimitable squeaky way, "WTF!!!" Long story short, no one bought it, even the fucking bankers on Fucking WALL STREET!! I can see where the WS wankers getting all shirty if it was going to actually HURT them, but Timbo's plan doesn't, not in any way thats yet been revealed. Perhaps it'll be like on of those old radio serial dramas, where the listeners, audience, even the damn writers didn't know what peril the next episode was going to whoever was in dire danger in the previous installment. Or maybe it's like one of those "Toxic HomeLoans"[tm] where the next payment is the big SUUURRRPISE payment of 90% of the original loan. And we all know how well those worked out for the country now dont we class? Won't forget your homework again now will you Timmy? Good. Because the next time you do you have to spend recess in the dum dum de dum CLOAK ROOOOM!!! And the last guy to spend recess in there alone was never seen again!!! Not ALIVE ANYWAY!! BWAHHHH....


Some of the mail I get is very serious, and it can really get me down if I read it all in one clip, or as just happened, a machine malfunction caused my e-mail to pile up to astronomical proportions. And I cant be one of those people who deletes the lot and forgets about it. It would rankle. Teeth would gnash. Thoughts would be with some deposed dictators ex-wife who needs ME to help her get 90 kagillion US dollars out of the Republic of Swaziland safely to her home on Park Ave in New York. (Yes I know know that Swaziland has a King, but lets not split heirs) So the thing that I did do is go through all four separate mail accounts, and delete line by line everything that even had a spammy smell. That took two days. We're talking several thousand e-mails here, not even including the ones in the spam boxes, which just went bye-bye as is. Finally I get it down to yesterdays and todays mail, no sweat, I say to myself. "Self, you've done a magnificent job of work it would've taken many lesser humans weeks to accomplish, treat thyself, self!" And it being Wednesday, an unusally warm and clement day for winter, nearly SIXTY degrees for Dogs sake! Get oujt side and get some exercise, and enjoy this fine day. So I harness up the Boston Terrorist, put on the ratty old New Balance shoes cause theres sure to be mud and dog shit, and hit a local nature trail. Nearly two miles of semi-unspoiled wetlands in the midst of an industrial neighborhood (I may be from a professsion that breeds wealth, but it skipped my generaton!) and joined many other like minded souls. It being still WINTER, there was still much ice on the unpaved path, and much mud and dog-shit as predicted. What I had not in any way predicted was a complete and total moron on a RACING BICYCLE! ON ICE! In February! This looney was going as fast as physics and his vehicle would allow, but I didn't see him until after my dog did. The dog was on an retractable lead, OK for walking on sidewalks, on icy trails, no so much. Bostons are small but solid dogs, with very thick necks, and a very determined nature. His determination was to catch and kill the idiot on the trail bike. That there was anyone else on the other end of the lead was not in his focus. So my dog charged the biker, who didn't see the smallish canine, but heard him, and promptly ran his bike off the trail into the marsh, sailing headfirst into the muck and ice. The dog must have thought he killed it, and moved onto other more interesting subjects, like why was the "Food Guy" lying there on the ground screaming in pain? Well, FG as he calls me around the house, was hurt kinda bad. Seems that when FG's hand went flying trying to hold onto said lead, its partner hit the ground at an angle that doctors, this one included, do not recommend. After limping home and dumping off the Terrorist, I went to my local orthopod, who said I broke my wrist. After correcting him that my dog broke it trying to successfully (well, one can hope) kill an idiot cyclist, I took his pain med prescription to the pharmacy and am ever so thankful that the wrist was my left one. Self love is REALLY difficult with a cast on your wrist!

Buhbye Boxing Day

As I learn to tweak and situate everything on this site, it seems the more gadgets that are available the more I want. A clear case of conspicuous consumption. Since all the tweaks are free and fairly easy to apply, it's more a matter of getting things in places where they're visible. I like to have things in the right place, where everyone can see at a glance what the hell is going on. The investment/mortgage/insurance/banking and now GMAC industries don't Have to do that, no one asked them to when they asked for 700Gazillion dollars. It was right there in well, probably pencil, but in black and white anyway, that the Treasury Department did NOT require the Failout(tm) recipients to account for a single buck of the 350Gazillion that they've gotten to date, not including of course the AIG and other separate Failouts(tm). According to the GAO (Government Accounting Office) NO-ONE knows exactly how much money has actually gone to these crooks, and not any single person has a clue as to how the money was actually spent.

It is estimated at nearly a Trillion dollars to date, and the second tranch of the initial 700Billion hasn't even been released yet!! Chris Dodd, my intrepid senator from CT, head of the Banking Committee, is foaming at the mouth over this lack of transparency, yet HE'S the one who drafted the fucking deal in the first place. I liken it to getting a credit card, with say a $1000 dollar limit, and maybe $100 annual fee, and 25% interest rate on the unpaid balance. Anyone, ANYONE, knows that they will be in the hole by $100 right off the bat, just by getting the card, right? Then they go and by a new computer for $850.00. That gives them a $950.00 balance on the card. With me so far? Not rocket science, just simple addition. If they pay just the minimum balance due, that goes to just interest, again simple credit card rule everyone SHOULD know, if you don't you have any business having credit cards. If the balance carries over, the interest charge will be $27.50. That's $975 give or take. Pretty simple no? You pay the $10 or whatever the teaser monthly payment is, and the interest will just keep mounting up and up and up, because they add it up DAILY! It's important to read the credit card contract so that you know these details. They cost a lot of money if you don't pay attention. And say, you get laid off from your job and miss a payment, then you get hit with late fees, and the way it's going, an over-limit fee as well. Those can be as high as $50 EACH!

But if you're in the guvmint, you can just give the money to these yabbos, with absolutely NO repayment plan! Thats tight, have a $25Billion LOAN but you really don't have to pay it back, it says right on the two page application that I filled out yesterday. You needn't say how you're going to spend it either. Ever get a personal loan from your friendly neighborhood banker? Did they ask you what the money was for? More than once? I worked in the consumer loan department of a now "consolidated" New England bank, now a multi-national mega-bank super-duper store, and when I had that application in front of me, as I filled it out for the customer (they weren't allowed to do it by themselves, apparently loan officers have better penmanship) EVERY application asked the purpose of the loan, and in most cases the loan was at least marginally SECURED by whatever was purchased with those funds. Even a $1000 unsecured loan HAD to have something in the box for Purpose Of Loan, or it would be rejected. Most times I admit, I just made shit up. Like a elderly man wanted to buy a snowmobile, IN CALIFORNIA! I had fun with it, and the loans usually went through anyway. But they were piddly little unsecured personal loans. Up to five G's, with a decent credit history and a job or money in the bank, the loan got approved. We didn't worry over it, since we usually had these folks checking and savings accounts too. But what do you do when you loan some company more money than they have in say, property or anything else to secure the transaction?

What you do is, YOU DON"T LEND THEM ANY MONEY! If I went to the bank, and they were actually lending any money (doubtful at this point), and the loan exceeded my ability and resources to repay the loan, it wouldn't happen. They'd be nice and respectful, because I do have my accounts there and they don't want to lose depositors right now for sure, but I'd walk out with nada. Maybe go to The First National Bank of The Rachel Maddow Show. She applied for Failout(tm) funds too. My bank, United Puppies Bank, hasn't been acknowledged as a bank yet. But GMAC, the lending arm of General Motors, converted into a bank just this week. If they could, so could I! I have a lot of debt, and no plan as to how it's gonna get paid off. Just like them.

I don't hold the titles to hundreds of thousands of virtually worthless SUVS, but I still have a few assets here and there. This is a really nice computer that I have, but I bought it from a computer repair shop, who had it in for upgrades and the owner booked for parts unknown. And I got it for next to free. And being a neo-geek, I install hardware and software myself, and it's never been back to the hospital since it's purchase. The monitor and speakers, cables and other stuff came from my old computer, so it's bones are good, but it has some serious arthritis! One may see it in operation and think "Damn, nice set up ya got dude!", but no-one is going to buy the bloody thing!! It's way too old, the processor is two generations or so out of date and there's the whole Window's Vista thing, that I stayed the hell away from, XP-Pro is just fine, as fine as Windows ever is. But the parallel is there if you think about it a second or two. It looks good works fine, but is of no value for resale. Just like the stock in the banks that we got in compensation for the Failout(tm) money. It looks good on the surface, the bank has deposits of $Xitty Billion in the safe, But they owe so much on their credit card that they're essentially worthless. Citi, B Of A, CapitalOne it don't matter much which you pick for the look see. They all owe more than they can pay. Ever. And we can't send the repo-man to jack 'em up, because we signed an agreement not to.

Gotta watch what you sign. That credit card will get you into a hell of a lotta trouble. And its all a conspiracy created by the Democrats to win the election! ROFLMAO!! The wingnuts have finally totally lost control of their tongues. That and the latest screed, that FDR made teh depression worser by his spending! Sigh......